My Daughter's Journey to Freedom

"Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand-and melting like a snowflake..." Marie Beyon Ray

Please forgive my silence these past two months. On February 6th my daughter Alexis Lee Richards lost her battle with drug addiction. It is something I constantly prayed would never happen and even though she was in and out of rehabs and at death’s door on three separate occasions over the past 10 years, we really never thought she would die. To us she was the cat with NINE LIVES. She used every one of them … and then some.

For several weeks prior to her death I had dreamt she was going to loose her battle with this horrible disease. It was difficult to sleep at night just knowing that the phone would ring in the middle of the night (as it often did when she had been either admitted to a hospital or another rehab). The only time she and I found peace was when she was in a program. And then she would get out into the "real world" and life took over - she did not know how to cope in a "normal" society. She never felt like she fit in. Many times she would tell me she was tired - and I would beg her not to give up - I prayed and prayed and prayed.

When the police called to tell me they found her body, I was numb. And I have been for the past two months. The death of a child is something no parent should have to experience. It is something I doubt I will ever get over.The bright side of this story is that Alexis was truly a beautiful woman. Even in her own suffering she reached out to other addicts to encourage them to get clean - we had dozens of her friends at her funeral sharing stories of how she would call them to just make sure they were okay.

Alexis was 27 years old and is survived by four sisters. Two of which are mine - Jennifer (30 - and the mother of my two beautiful grandchildren) and Suzannah (23 and my business partner).The death of a child is something I hope no parent experiences. My family and I are very thankful for all the wonderful people who have reached out to us. Every day I get at least one phone call from friends of Alexis' just to see how I am doing. And dozens of cards and emails from family and friends around the world.

My heart is very full right now - all I can say is THANK YOU! To all those who have reached out with love, support, cards and kindness during this time. It has helped a lot.

This virtual world we have all created has been a comfort to me and so I find great pleasure in using it in any way that can help others and myself in the process.

You will be hearing more about Alexis’ life in future postings. It is my intention to write her life story. The first program she attended was Here's Help (she was there on 2 separate occasions). Each time she stayed clean for the longest. The last program she attended was back in October 2006 - it was Journey to Freedom Life Ministries for Women - the place she found GOD. Her story is tentatively going to be called Journey to Freedom, because Alexis is now free - free from her torment and all the demons she had inside her. For that we are grateful.

My family and I greatly appreciate the many people who made contributions to Here's Help and Journey to Freedom. The monies will go to good use to help these young adults in their own recovery. These two organizations (and many others around the world) are in this fight against drug and alcohol addiction until the war on drugs is won.

Please say a special prayer for Alexis. And if you have children please give them an extra hug from "Aunt Heidi." Children can never have too many hugs or too much love.

Love, peace, and good health to you all.

Heidi Richards